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one in a millionYou're like a cherry blossom.
One of millions of beautiful people,
But you're one of the few that are
still intact. Your beauty is not
marred by people stepping on you,
not yet; your petals are still attached, you are
still whole and pure.
You are just like every other person,
though different in the detail;
at one point, everyone was beautiful. But some
were plucked too early, and will never fully grow; some
were infected with bugs, and mutilated;
some were blown away by the winds of
passing strangers; some were stepped on
and crushed by careless passersby, who
didn't even stop to look at the beauty
of what they were destroying.
Very few are still intact, unmarred; you
are one of the lucky few, who grew slower than
the others, managed to get by unnoticed by the
dangers surrounding your home. While your beautiful
world fell apart around you, you still managed
to grow; you are still beautiful you.
And while this crazy world destroys
everything you thought you knew, I'll be here
untitled2It was never meant to be this way I need to tell you that I thought that maybe if I did it that we wouldn't have to see this way, I wish that I could show you how it should never have had to end this way, and sometimes when I think of you I get a little tear in my eye when I remember how things were supposed to be now consider this, I'm still afraid of how I had hoped that things could be that way and not this. I wonder if you think about how things could've been so much better that way, if only I had thought that it hadn't always felt this way. I wish I knew the words to say to tell you that I feel this, say I never wanted it to end at least not the way it did and sometimes when I think of you I still get that rush of excitement but it's not the way that things should be anyway I want you to know that even though the way I was and sometimes am is a bitch to be around I wanted to say that I hate the way I still can't say the way I feel, makes me feel that we still may have that chance.
not afraidI don't remember the last time
I cried for the fact that I
was too happy to bear it.
I don't remember the last time
that I trusted someone enough
to give them everything, and not be
I'm not afraid to love you,
and that brings me not
I feel infatuated
by thoughts containing
I wish I could spend
every second, waking and
asleep, with your arms around me.
I feel like
you're holding all the weight
that's been dragging me down
but it hasn't left me empty.
I'm not afraid of you.
But I trust you. And I think
I just might do anything
to keep you in my life.
runas my last act,
I'd like to make one last attempt at being someone worth knowing.
I'd like to think, maybe my life wasn't a complete waste of matter.
I'd like to know, that I am not the devil, but merely
as my last thought,
I think I'm already kind of dead inside.
I think you knew that, too,
I think you didn't want to believe the truth, that I'm
i'm hereyour eyes
are the same color as cherry blossom petals once they've been allowed to rot;
a shade of brown, mixed with the sweet terrors of the unknowns contained
in your heart.
the bruises that are visible
to the naked eye make your skin pockmarked with different colours
of spring; the purple of petunias in the garden you tend to
so carefully, the yellow of dandelions you simply can't get rid of,
no matter how hard you try, the green of the grass when it has gone
without rain for too long.
mixed in with a brown that matches your eyes,
and it is beautiful.
the marks you bear of the life you've lived
are not all visible; yet one look at you
can make someone ask themselves,
what more could there be? how much damage
can one person take, before
but you haven't broken yet.
they named you after a long-forgotten someone; but
nobody's quite sure who.
the same seems to go for you now, as no one knows
quite how to introduce you at family gatherings;
you're just you, simply the girl tha
freakout It was supposed to be about me,
I wanted to say
but too afraid of sounding
selfish, unconcerned about
how the girl at the center
of everyone else's attention
and not afraid to show it.
I'm hurting too,
My heart screamed,
though my voice was not controlled
by my heart, but
by my brain.
I wonder what my brain was saying.
They'll think you're a freak,
My brain mutters,
cynical as ever, the epitomy of
pessimism as I slowly back away.
Today was about me, but
now it was for her, the
girl in the next room, screaming her
agony into the hearts and minds of
everyone within earshot.
Just pretend you're som
all I askI am not
or the smartest
or the wittiest
or the best
girl you will ever have.
do things I'm not comfortable with
or always be there
or be able to stand on my own forever.
I will be
and I will
want you around.
All I ask for in return, is
a matter of perspectiveit shouldn't matter
what color her eyes are
or how long her hair is
what matters is that
it doesn't matter
that she's crazy for you
or that they all want her.
the only thing that matters is that
she's the world to you.
it won't matter
that parents disagree
or that there is no one to
stand by your side til the end.
she'll be there,
and that's all you care about.
lie to mei'm right beside you.
but you won't even look at
me. don't you love me?
i thought i loved you.
but since the day i said so,
we haven't spoken.
i'm afraid of you;
and afraid of being by
myself, without you.
at least tell me this;
why won't you look at the face
you called beautiful?
i'd rather face the
lies, than never speak to you
again. lie to me.
it's better than this
silence. anything is better
than this silence.
can you help me?Why
would you look at me
in such distaste? I
can't help this feeling, this
overwhelming sensation, a
certain kind of pleasure I get when
I look into your eyes.
cut me deeper
than you could ever think, some
even taking physical form
and I can't stop it.
Stop speaking such
agonizingly painful words, I
can't take it for much longer.
Please, just let me
be alone, I don't know what's wrong with
I don't know how to change it.
Can you help me?
Just take away this horrible feeling
I'm wrong, my very existence
a sin, a wrong, my inner demon
so powerful in my emotions, please
take it all away.
I can't help how I feel, if
I could I wouldn't be this way, wouldn't
be such a disgrace, maybe I
would be enough to satisfy your
But when I look at you, it
all seems so much more
terrifying, that I can't stop
take it away.
I can't help but
be this way.
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A two-time Community Volunteer for the deviantART Related category, Anne is well-known as a positive, helpful force. She is the community's resident expert when it comes to CSS (Cascading Style Sheets), and her personal gallery offers a wide variety of tutorials for new and experienced coders alike. In addition, each winter she hosts a calendar project encouraging members to create Journal designs for all to use, bringing more creativity to the community.
It is with immense gratitude that we acknowledge Anne as the recipient of the Deviousness Award for October 2014. Read More